I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
