Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
vagina is talking i cant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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