So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The beer is more important than you right now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
