AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
