I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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