did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
