Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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