Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
