Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
