it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
