I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize