Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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