It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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