Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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