she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
