I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
