is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
