Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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