our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
