Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
