White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize