I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
