SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
