cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize