it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
