Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How naked do you want me to be?
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