Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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