I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What changed your mind?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.