This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....