whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.