im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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