Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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