they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to make out with him forever
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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