Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
