Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they're like a gay fantastic four
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
