You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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