elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
