Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
