One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
