Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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