So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize