You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
