To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
