Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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