Yo dont text me then not text me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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