i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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