I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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