i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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