i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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