when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
