I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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