All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
