Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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