dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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