what day is it and did you see me today?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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