he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
