then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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