Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
