I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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