So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
