Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
