I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
