ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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