8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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