my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
