I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
