we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Still dying that you shit outside
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
