I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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