My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize